The Office Spouse

This morning I was introduced to a brand new concept (at least to me) the "Office Spouse", "Office Husband", "Office Wife"...and so on. CNN's Robin Meade brought up the question "Is it appropriate to buy your office spouse a Valentine's gift?". They went on to speculate, but my mind went in a different direction completely. Rewind...office spouse? Really?

I suppose it makes sense how the reference came about. I certainly take care of plenty of things for my boss that his wife should be taking care of, like interviewing sitters for their kids or picking out their birthday presents. She is too busy working to do it herself, and I've joked that he needs two wives just to keep him pulled together.

Unfortunately that's not what they were referring to - this is a "phrase coined to describe the new relationship phenomenon that's developed as Americans work longer, harder, and in closer proximity with colleagues of the opposite sex," according to WebMD. The office spouse knows everything about you: your birthday, favorite food, worst nightmare, and deepest darkest secret. The office spouse "meets emotional needs, going beyond the requirements of the job," says Willard F. Harley Jr., PhD, author of His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage. "If you are in a bind, here is a co-worker -- someone of the opposite sex -- who will care for you, who you can depend on, and who you can confide in."

Wow. Relationships sure have come a long way. Maybe I am old fashioned, but this seems a bit off-kilter. Are so many people either unhappy or alienated at home that they can't depend on their significant other for this sort of emotional support? Are they workaholics that spend so much time at the office that it seems like home, and maybe home is now considered to be work? I can't wrap my brain around the psychology of this concept.

After work, I came home and checked the mail. It takes about half an hour to decompress after a work-day, so I plopped down with a Redbook magazine that had just arrived. On page 150 there is a Q & A article by Aaron Traister. The second question is “Should I be worried if my husband has an “office wife”?. There it is again, twice in one day! His answer was “I would be if I discovered that Karel (his wife) had another spouse, office or otherwise. I think a guy's asking for trouble at home and at work if he has a relationship with a colleague that is intimate enough to involve the word wife...”

So this brings up the topic of...dumdumdadum, women in the workplace. Most of us thought we were done with this argument, and some still aren't done trying to prove that they are man's equal. I have nothing to prove. I came from a gene pool of cotton share-croppers in the South – there aren't many men here in the North with the work ethic that I have...pansies. I take pride in what I do, regardless of what it is, and enjoy making a difference. I know that staying at home and keeping up a household is a full time job in itself, but I don't know if I could do it. I would probably start three business of my own to compensate for the lack of working for someone else (come to think of it -maybe not a bad idea).

Regardless, so many problems have developed undeniably because of both sexes being simultaneously in the workplace: sexual harassment, a plethora of affairs and divorces, special-favor ranks (i.e.Bill Clinton), plenty of soap-opera worthy drama scenes...and now "work spouses". If I didn't have such a good man, I would be intimidated. There aren't many of those left either, and I'm sure that doesn't help.

Plenty of women likely disagree with the thought of a woman's place still being the kitchen, and it doesn't really work in these times. Just think of all the nonsense that could be avoided though, if this standard still existed.

To close, I will quote my father, Johnnie Mack - “ A southern woman ain't happy unless she's barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen.”

Maybe it's just me...and the rest of the world is normal. I doubt it though. Like I said -some folks still have something to prove. So there's a hub idea for someone, though it might be a little too late... "What to get your office-spouse for Valentine's Day". Coming soon: an affair near you.